Family Time: "Up" for Halloween

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Halloween.  I don't know what it is exactly, maybe the combination of Fall weather, pumpkin everything, haunted houses, and the fact that you can dress up even as an adult, make it one of the most magical holidays.

When I was a little girl my mom almost always made my costumes. I think it was usually less expensive to do so, and even though I thought the store-bought costumes were really cool, the things my mom made always looked better and were much better quality.  I have yet to make any of our costumes from scratch, but I always find great things at the thrift store that, with a little tweaking and sewing, have made some great costumes. I know it's cheesy, but I love choosing themes each year, and lucky for me, I have a husband who is a good sport about it and I baby who is too young to know any different.

This year, we chose to dress as characters from Disney's Up. It was probably the most work I have spent on Halloween costumes yet (I should have counted the number of feathers I traced, cut and glued), but it was definitely worth it.

Happy Halloween!

Recommended Reading: Postive Discipline: The First Three Years

I stumbled upon this book, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, at the library a few months ago. My little one wasn't really having any discipline problems since he was only about 7 or 8 months old at the time, but I read a few pages and liked what I saw so I added it to my pile. After reading a bit more when I got home I soon couldn't put the book down and was giving my husband a summary of my reading every night before we went to bed. I don't know how many people I have already recommended this book to (probably more often unsolicited than not), but I just loved the information so much that I have wanted to share it with everyone.

This particular copy is just one of a whole series by the same author(s). You can read more about it on her website here. I plan to read more of her books as the little one grows and probably will re-read them again as we have more children, but The First Three Years was a great way to start. The book first spends several chapters discussing what discipline really is, how it is different from punishment, and how it should be used.  Then, it goes on to give the reader a much deeper understanding of behavior in infants and toddlers (in other words, why the do what they do). The authors do an excellent job explaining that what is often mistaken as misbehavior is almost always normal, age-appropriate behavior, especially when it comes to toddlers and infants. They talk about why time-out and using the word "no" don't have the effect adults expect them to, and why your child repeatedly does the same thing over and over and over, even though you have told them countless times not to.

Throughout the book we are reminded to use "kindness but firmness" and to especially utilize "redirection" when disciplining children. It also emphasizes the need children, especially toddlers, have to be in control and do things on their own, and gives lots of examples of how a parent can give their children choices that allow them to explore their own autonomy while at the same time establishing boundaries and guidelines that will teach the children to act appropriately at home and in society.

I think sometimes, parents have the idea that they should "just know" how to be a parent and they learn by trial and error, hoping for the best. Maybe they feel its a sign of weakness to ask for help or advice, but a point that this book makes is that for any other profession there is always schooling and training involved until the person can understand and complete their tasks. Why don't we do the same for parenting? There is nothing wrong with reading books, taking classes or asking for help and advice (as long as we use our own good judgment and don't try to implement everything everyone teaches us whether or not we agree with it).

I can't say enough good about this book. I would whole-heartedly recommend it to any parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, babysitter, or even just anyone wanting to better understand children. Not only will it change your perspective when it comes to your own children, but also when you see other peoples' children, especially the tantrum-throwing ones at the grocery store (tantrums, by the way are not a sign of misbehavior, but normal, age-appropriate behavior, and this book gives great ideas on how to handle them).

I found this copy at my local library, but you can buy it online or probably at most book stores. It is a fairly quick read but still full of great information. I hope you'll check it out!

How To: Shop at Thrift Stores

Have you ever asked someone where they got that cute shirt only to hear the answer, "at the thrift store, it was only two dollars!" Determined to find something just as good, you also head to the thrift store, walk through racks of junk for fifteen minutes, and walk away empty handed.  "How does she do it?" you wonder.

While finding that $100 designer purse for $5 at Goodwill may be a stroke of good luck, most often successful thrifting is about knowing some tricks and putting in a little extra time and work. Here are some tips to get you started:

1. Go to various stores and go often. Just as you shop at various retailers for all your other clothes, try to shop at multiple thrift stores. They are not all the same; prices, sales, and quality and quantity of items will vary greatly between stores. Also, it helps to go frequently because items are constantly changing. I probably stop at at least one thrift store at least every two weeks (often it's more than that).
2. Go with something in mind. Most of the time, successful thrifting requires a lot of digging through a lot of junk, and it's not always fun. I have found that when I don't really have anything in mind that I'm looking for, I'm less willing to dig, and therefore usually less likely to find anything. It always helps to at least have a few ideas in mind--such as a black pencil skirt or red cardigan--of what you hope to find before you go. That doesn't mean you only go to the skirt section and then nothing else, but if you start out by looking for something in particular it sort of breaks you in to the somewhat tedious, but necessary, process of of picking through every item on every rack until you find the treasures.
3. Take your time. I can easily spend over an hour at a thrift store (if I don't have the baby in tow) because it takes time to go through all the clothes. If you only have ten minutes to run in and look around chances are you aren't going to find anything. Thrifting will be more successful if you take your time and look through as many items as possible.
4. Ignore tags. Thrift store items are constantly being mis-tagged and misplaced, so don't focus too much on the tags or section labels. I usually wear a small or medium but I still sort through large and x-large sections to see if I find anything I like. Some items that say x-large may have shrunk and now fit a size medium, or it may be something that can be altered to fit. 
5. Try it on. Absolutely never buy anything from a thrift store without trying it on first. Remember rule number 4: just because the tag says it's your size doesn't mean it will fit. Many items are donated to the thrift store because they have shrunk or stretched and no longer fit the way the tag says they should. Most thrift stores do not accept returns (although some will allow you to exchange your item for something similar within a few days of purchase), and even though it may only be three dollars, that's still three dollars that you wasted if you get home and find that it doesn't fit after all.  
6. Double check. If you find an item you want to buy, make sure you give it an extra good look over checking for any tears in the fabric or seams, loose buttons, or stains. 

Even following all these rules, there will still be times when you don't find anything worth buying at the thrift store. But, your chances of finding some great bargains will definitely increase if you give it the time and work. Happy thrifting!

Money Wise: The Debt

Note: I originally wrote this and other posts about our finances on a personal blog but have decided to share them here. The original publishing date is shown below.  

3/24/14

We were married in December 2010 and Phil already had just over $10,000 in student loan debt. We made our monthly payments, but didn't make much of a dent in the debt. Someone gave us The Total Money Makeover as a wedding gift and we both started reading it a few months into our marriage. We liked its teachings and agreed with the principles. We started using a website called Mint to manage our various checking and savings accounts and to create a monthly budget. We still use Mint on a regular basis. At that time we also increased our loan payments by en extra $100 a month, but we both felt too scared to really attack the debt and pay it off. We wanted to save our money for future expenses.

The truth is, Phil never should have taken out those loans in the first place. Had he planned a little better, he could have worked more and paid for school in full with his own money. We were able to pay for my schooling without taking out any more loans. But at the time he really didn't see or feel anything wrong about it. Everyone was getting loans, he did too. 

We are all in control of our decisions, but society really does have an influence on us. College has become so much more expensive that it used to be, even compared to just 20 or 30 years ago. I remember my dad talking about how inexpensive school was (relatively speaking) when he was in college. He would work hard all summer to save up and then pay for a full year of school with his earnings. Student loans didn't even really exist, and certainly weren't the norm. Now, the government guarantees student loans, and they aren't bankrupt-able (meaning even if you file for bankruptcy, you still have to pay your student loans, unlike every other kind of debt) so it makes sense for schools to increase the cost of tuition and encourage students to get loans because then they get more money.

Phil and I are wiser now, we see through this scheme. But it has taken us a while to get here, and unfortunately $100,000 more in student loan debt. Despite our reading and budget making, we still made the decision to come to a very expensive graduate school and take on more debt. Over the past two years we have really come to realize how burdening debt can be and are ready to be free from its weight on our lives. We still have a long way to go. This is just the beginning of our journey. 

Family time: The Pumpkin Patch

This past Friday Phil was able to take a day off of work and we all went to a pumpkin patch. Luke loves to be outside and we were pretty sure he would love bright orange pumpkins too so it seemed like the perfect family activity. Plus, it was free (except the purchase of our pumpkins) so we didn't waste any time getting there and taking a million pictures.

Happy October! 

How to: Sell on eBay

My husband and I have always lived pretty simply. Partly because we have never had much money, and partly because we just like a minimal lifestyle. We try not to gather too much clutter in our house and often are going through closets and drawers finding things that we don't need or don't use to give away.

Until recently, I always just donated things we didn't want to a thrift store. Then, when we were getting ready to move back to Utah we participated in a family garage sale with some friends. We didn't make a lot of money, but it was definitely more fun to make some money on our old things than no money at all. After the garage sale we still had lots of things we wanted to get rid of, but now with a taste of profit we decided we would try selling on eBay before just giving them away.

I won't pretend we have made a fortune doing this, but we have made money, and since it was on items that we had used up and would have given away anyway, it has been that much more rewarding. If you want to start selling on eBay, here are some thoughts to help you get started:

1. People will buy anything. You never know what someone might want, so don't throw something out just because you wouldn't buy it online. Since listing is free on eBay (although they do take a small percentage of the sell price) there is no harm in trying. The only exceptions to this would be if its an item you can't or don't want to ship, or an item that is very worn or damaged.
2. Charge for shipping.  When I first started selling things (mostly clothes) I had the idea that people would be more willing to buy it if I didn't charge shipping. But then shipping costs always ended up being more than I expected and I didn't come out making much of a profit. Once I started charging for shipping I found that people still bought my items. If someone wants the item enough, they won't mind paying a little to ship it.
3. Use descriptive titles. I have found that the more details I can put into the item title the more quickly it sells. So instead of listing your item as "black dress pants" say something like "Express Design Studio Black Dress Pants Women's Size 6 Long". It may seem excessive, but the more information a buyer can see right away, the more likely they are to click on your ad and buy your item.
4. Take adequate photos. I say adequate because it doesn't seem to matter that much. eBay is not Etsy (which seems to always have beautiful photos) and buyers seem less concerned with the quality of photos than the information the photos provide. If you are selling a book, for example, buyers will want to see the dust jacket, the front and back covers, the spine, the title page, the publishing date, relevant illustrations, and any wear and tear the book may have. The buyer will not care whether or not the book is displayed on a velvet cushion as long as there are enough photos to show them its overall condition.
5. Price right. eBay has auction and flat rate selling options. I almost always use auction because I like the possibility of getting multiple bids and making more money. However, the system will make suggestions to help you list your item and it often prompts you to start at a very low price if you use auction style. Then if you only get one bid you just sold that expensive sweater for one dollar. Despite what the system recommends, don't start your price any lower than you feel the item is worth to you (even if you are sure you are going to get multiple bids) that way you have no regrets when the item sells.
6. Be smart. eBay is a pretty safe marketplace, but there are still scammers. Use a paypal account to safely accept payment and report any strange emails, such as ones asking you to sell outside of the eBay interface, or asking you to ship to suspicious countries for extra payment. If you aren't sure about something contact customer service.

Selling on eBay is great way to make a little extra money, especially on items that you would have willingly given away! Give it a try and you might be surprised. 

P.S. I was not compensated in any way for this post, the opinions and experiences are completely my own! 

Weekly Tip: Make a list

I don't know if I would ever get anything done if I didn't make lists. I have always been a big fan of goal-making, even as a young girl, and I quickly learned that the best way to start achieving those goals was to first write them down. Now, as a mom and homemaker, it seems that there are always a million things that need to be done and if I don't write them down I never remember to do half of them.

This is what I do to keep me organized each day:

• I keep a small notepad on my nightstand next to our bed. Each night before going to sleep I think about what I need or want to get done the next day and write it down. It doesn't have to be very detailed, just a word or two to remind me of each item. I include everyday tasks on my list such as laundry and vacuuming, as well as more specific one-time tasks that I need to get done.  I only focus on tasks for the next day, not for the week or month. If you do want to make a some long-tern goals, write them on a separate list. 
• The next day I look at my list frequently throughout the day and determine when and how I will complete each item. I try to be flexible, never knowing for sure when the baby will nap or what kind of mood he will be in. I try to get a few "easy" items done while the little one is awake and save bigger or more difficult tasks for nap time. 
• I cross off items as I go. This step is important because it gives you that "I did it!" feeling and makes you want to do more. It's also nice to see at the end of the day all the items with lines through them.
• If I forgot to add something to my list the night before, I add it as I think of it during the day so I don't forget it later. Don't go overboard with this though, its better to just add a few things that you want to make sure and accomplish soon than to add every single thing you can possibly think of. 
• If I don't get something done I don't fret about it too much, but I do take time to decide if it's really important, and if so I add it to my list again for the following day.

List-making has proven to be extremely effective for me and I find that I get way more done when I make my list than when I don't. But remember, the list should be a tool, not a burden. Don't get down if you forget to make it or if you don't finish everything on it each day. Use it as a way to learn and improve and to become more organized. Some of my tips may not work for everyone so find a way that works best for you. 

For a few more ideas, I thought this article had some good points: Successful People

Learning to love your job

Being a SAHM and homemaker is not always easy. Little ones can wear you out quickly. Sometimes it seems like you are always washing dishes, or always picking up toys, or always doing laundry. And often, there is not a lot of time for you.

Yesterday, I read an article titled, "Dear Stay-At-Home-Moms, Please Shut Up." It's written by a SAHM who frankly is tired of hearing other SAHMs complain about their job. I personally found the article to be mostly humorous. It is obvious that the author uses satire and is not entirely serious about everything she says. But as I read the comments posted to the article, I was surprised that most didn't feel as I did about it. Women were clearly unhappy with the ridicule and stereotypes described by the author and some protested that they had never met any SAHM that complained about her job.

I don't think this is a matter of who is right or wrong. You could choose to become offended, or you could remind yourself that it is one person's opinion, and take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you truly love staying at home and have never had reason to complain and don't know what the author is talking about. Maybe you hate staying at home, and do complain, and this article makes you feel a little guilty. Hopefully you just found it funny, like I did.

Truthfully though, like the author, I have heard a lot of SAHMs complain about their job. Whether it be in person or online through blogs and social media; Facebook especially can be a never-ending saga of the latest difficult tasks SAHMs have had to endure. We have all had jobs that we don't like, and its easy to get into a habit (yes, it becomes a habit) to complain when we are unhappy.

So the way I see it, if you are a SAHM and you are unhappy with your job, you have three options:

1. Don't change anything and continue to be unhappy.
2. Put your kids in daycare or hire a nanny and get a job that you like.
3. Find ways to love your job as a SAHM.

You may say that none of those choices are easy, and that may be true, but things that are worth doing are rarely very easy. Hopefully you won't choose number one, so I won't even go into that.

If you choose number two that is great. Not every mom wants to stay home, and that is ok. Maybe you have always wanted to work but felt guilty putting your kids in daycare. Personally, I feel that I mother is the best caregiver for her own children, but that being said, it does not mean that you can't find great care outside of the home also. It is a matter of doing some research and choosing whatever suits you best. Working part-time or just one or two days or nights a week is also an option that may allow you to spread your wings but still let you be at home most of the time. I think these decisions take a lot of thought, discussion with your spouse, and prayer. But if you are angry all the time because you feel stuck at home, your kids will notice and it won't be good for them anyway, so maybe a little outside work is best for everyone.

If you choose number three (obviously my favorite choice) then it's time to do some major personal evaluations. It may be hard to find the time to do some thinking, but try to take an hour or two to yourself, grab a pen and paper and write down your thoughts.  Here are some ideas to help:

• First, make a list of all the things you don't like about being a SAHM. Your list might include things like: I don't like cooking or cleaning, no time for myself, I get lonely being home all day, the kids are always fighting, etc. 
• Next, think of a job you have had before that you loved, and write down all the reasons why you loved it. Your list might read: I got to use the skills I learned in school or training, I was my own boss, I loved my coworkers, I liked the benefits, etc.
• Finally, see if you can mesh the things you loved previously with the things you currently don't like.  For example, if you loved being your own boss in a previous job then remind yourself that you are definitely your own boss as a SAHM. You make the rules and just because some of your friends may raise their kids or clean their house one way, doesn't mean you have to do it that way too. If it helps you, run your house like you would run a business (maybe with a bit more love) and use those skills you gained as a boss to help your family. If you loved your coworkers in an old job and now you get lonely being home all day write down some ideas of how you can see friends (or make new ones) more often. Start a play group, a book club, or do something outside of your home like taking a cooking class or working out at the gym. If you miss using the skills you obtained in a previous job, consider how you might use them at home. If you were an accountant, use that knowledge to make an awesome monthly budget and teach your kids how to use money wisely at the grocery store. If you were a dance instructor, see if you can volunteer at your kids' school with the dance team, or start a dance class for your own little ones. There is really no job I can think of that can't be implemented in some way in the home

Ultimately, its about finding a good balance. No one loves their job every single day, that is just human nature. But we can always make our jobs better, starting with the right attitude and a desire to improve ourselves. Finding out what you are good at and focusing on the things you do enjoy about staying at home will make each day a little brighter. 

How to: Remove sweat odor from clothing

I know, sweat is not the most appealing thing to talk about, but since we all do it I guess it's ok. Hopefully I'm not the only one with this problem, but I have noticed that I have several shirts (often synthetic fibers) that seem to retain a sweat odor, even after multiple washings. I don't know about you, but I am not really going for the "I just put on this shirt and already smell sweaty" look, so I wanted to figure out a way to get rid of this problem once and for all.

After thinking and doing some reading I determined that the real culprit here is not sweat, but antiperspirant or deodorant. Antiperspirants have a tendency to leave residue on your clothes, but since it is usually on the inside, you might not notice or care. The problem is, antiperspirants are made up of several ingredients, including wax, and if you have ever spilled wax on your clothes, or carpet, or any fiber, you know how hard it is to get off. So, even though you may wash your clothes regularly, a normal wash cycle is not likely to remove all of the waxy residue left by the antiperspirant. And since you have been sweating into that waxy residue each time you wear the shirt, the odor is likely to stay too.

So, what should you do? Are we all destined to slightly odorous shirts? Thankfully, no.

Not long ago, I altered a dress for a friend. When I went to iron out the crease in the hem, the iron scalded the fabric. In a panic, I quickly grabbed some soap and started scrubbing, hoping to remove the marks. Luckily the marks came off, but to my dismay, the soap wouldn't rinse out of the fabric! Trying to help, my husband started looking for solutions online to removed soap residue from fabric. The solution? White distilled vinegar. I tried it and the soap came right out of her dress, no problem at all.

So if vinegar worked to remove soap residue I had a pretty good feeling that it would remove antiperspirant residue too, and sure enough, it did!

First, turn your shirt inside out. You can't always see the residue on the fabric, but you can usually feel it.

Then, soak a cotton ball with some vinegar and dab or rub gently into the fabric until soaked through.

Rinse the fabric with warm water.

Wash your shirt as usual, and you're all done!

Extra tip: I also read a good idea to keep a spray bottle of vinegar in your laundry room and spray it directly onto the underarms of all your shirts before throwing them in the washer.  This keeps the residue from ever building up in the first place and gets rid of all those pesky odors and stains.

Weekly Tip: Utilize the Library

I love books. I love to hold them and smell them, and most of all read them. It's no wonder then, that I also love the library. Public libraries are a great way to not only find fun books for you and your kids, but a great way to learn. I have a bachelor's degree, but I have never felt that my education should end with a college degree, and since I can't go back to school at this time, I try to continue learning in other ways.

It's true that we can find information on just about anything online these days, but often that information is incomplete or perhaps not accurate since just about anyone can publish anything on the internet. Articles and blogs (including my own) usually only tell half the story, so while the internet is a great starting point, I think too many people have forgotten how useful real books can be.

I read a lot of fiction, but I probably use the library most for non-fiction books. I have checked out books on parenting, homemaking, psychology, biographies, and maybe a little bit of everything else. I feel that the more I can learn, the better mother and homemaker I will be. Need help disciplining your toddler? There's a book for that (actually, lots). Want to learn to organize your living room? Books on that too. Love Downton Abbey and want to learn more about the 1900s? Yay! Books for that. The only problem? Checking out too many to read at once.

Here is a list of the books I currently have checked out:

Radical Homemakers by Shannon Hayes
Simplify Your Space by Marcia Ramsland
The Anger Solution by John Lee
The Thoreau You Don't Know by Robert Sullivan
Walden by Henry David Thoreau

How to: Lengthen a hem

Of all the skills I have learned in my life (which may not actually be that many) sewing is by far one of the most useful. I have always loved clothes, but have never had much money to spend on them so being able to make my own clothes as well as alter and repair items has saved me a lot of money over time.

Most recently I bought this cute sweater dress on clearance at Target. It is so comfy but can also be dressed up or just worn casually so I felt like it would be a good addition to my closet. (Please excuse my lack of shoes).

 However, one of the problems I always have with dresses and skirts is that they are never quite long enough. This dress was close, but when I sat down came up just a little too high for my taste. Luckily, it had about a 3 inch hem, leaving plenty of room for me to take it down and add a couple inches in length. Plus the dress just used a regular straight stitch for the hem, rather than a blind stitch which is more common, making this alteration even easier.

Because I wanted to match the look of the original hem, I used extra wide bias tape. Bias tape is so easy to use and inexpensive. You can find it in just about any color and width at any fabric or craft store, or even at Walmart.

First, use a seam ripper to unpick the original seams and lay dress flat.

Next, lay your tape and fabric, right sides together, matching up the edges. You can pin if you want, but probably don't need to. Sew tape onto fabric, using the small fold in tape as a guide.

Trim off the extra tape and your dress should now look like this.

Turn dress inside out and fold up hem to desired length. I wanted the hem seam to be about the same as the original so I folded up the fabric about 3 inches.

Pin all around. If you have slippery fabric you may also want to iron your hem to make sure it stays put when you sew, but this knitted fabric was heavy and easy to keep in place so I didn't worry about ironing.

Depending on the look you want you would now either do a blind hem or a straight stitch. I am matching the original hem so I did I straight stitch as close the the top of the tape as possible. Then I flipped the dress right side out and did a second straight stitch, using the first as a guide and matching the look of the original hem.

Trim off any loose threads and you're all done!

Moneymaker

Society tells us that we need a lot of things. We need a big house. We need two, or three, cars. We need new clothes every season. We need expensive furniture and home decor. We need boats and RVs and other "toys". If we listen to society and believe that we need all these things, it is very likely that we will also believe that we need two incomes in order to purchase all these things.

Many working mothers that I know would like to stay home, but feel that they have to work. They see their bills and cost of groceries and think they have no other choice. Sometimes this really might be the case, but often some lifestyle changes will allow for only one income.

My husband took on over $100,000 in student loans to earn a Masters Degree and then a job that earns him around $65,000 a year. You do the math. Some days we just look at each other in frustration, wondering how we are ever going to pay off this debt.

No one would be surprised, knowing our financial situation, if I decided to also get a full-time job to help pay off the debt. But, ever since we got married we have agreed that once we started having children I would stay home with them. It is something I have always wanted and looked forward to doing.

The fact is, even if I did get a job by the time we paid for gas, work attire, convenience foods (because I wouldn't be home to make our meals), and day care, we wouldn't actually be making much more money.  Sometimes we just see the paycheck and think how great it would be to have more, but we forget about the expenses that allow us to earn that paycheck in the first place. I have made it my job then, to not only care for our baby and the house, but to find as many ways as possible to save us money.

I make from scratch nearly all of our meals. My husband takes lunch to work everyday. I shop at thrift and consignment stores and make, repair, or alter many of my own clothes. We rarely buy anything without having researched and found the best deal first. We both drive 15 year old cars and pretty much never go out to eat or to anything that costs money.

I have nothing against working outside of the home if that is what one chooses to do. But my point is that you have a choice. You don't need all the things the world might tell you you need, and if you want to be a homemaker, you can make it work on one income.

Is it hard? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

Weekly Tip: Make your Bed

I think everyone, homemaker or not, should take the time to make their bed (and help their children, if they have any, make their beds) every day. I know what you're thinking. You are an adult, and I'm not your mom, so why should you have to make your bed?

The truth is, there is something about making your bed that just makes the whole day go better. It starts you off on the right foot by allowing you to accomplish an easy task and make you ready for more, and probably more difficult, tasks throughout the day. A neatly made bed can make a huge difference in a room and instantly makes it look cleaner, brighter, and more organized. Plus, slipping into nicely tucked sheets and blankets at the end of the day is much more rewarding than jumping into a ball of tangled linens. 

If you don't believe me, check this out: 6 Reasons Why You Should Make Your Bed

I don't know how to be a homemaker

Not long ago while talking to several women from church about some of our projects and activities at home, a friend my age frustratedly said, "Its like I'm not even a girl! I don't know how to do any of these things. I don't cook or sew or anything!"

I have noticed that most of many friends, or other women about my age, feel this way. There are so many conveniences in the world today that many of the skills that our mothers and grandmothers used daily are lost on my generation.  For some, they may find that they can buy everything they need and don't mind that they don't know how to cook or sew or perform other household tasks, but for those that do hope to stay at home with their children, or who simply want to do more for their home, this can be discouraging.

I have never had any kind of "formal" training in homemaking, most of what I know today (which is probably very little compared to some) has come over time through tips and advice and plain old practice. In fact, when I was a little girl I never liked helping my mom cook, and I definitely didn't like cleaning (my bed was never made and my room was usually a mess) but, I did like to sew. My mom often had sewing projects and I still remember when she first bought me a piece of plastic canvas and a plastic needle and yarn to learn how to sew on. Once I had mastered the canvas, she let me move on to squares of scrap fabric and make my own little nine patch quilts (just like Laura Ingalls Wilder!). Later, I would sew little clothes for my dolls, and then I started making minor alterations to my own clothes. Now, I sew frequently and consider it one of my favorite--and most useful--homemaking skills.

So why I am telling you this?  Because, most women (especially today) aren't going to love, or even know how to do, most things that a homemaker does right from the beginning. Start with what you enjoy or are most interested in. You don't have to be good at everything all at once. Homemaking shouldn't be about just doing the same things day after day, but about continually learning and improving on new skills. I didn't really start learning how to cook until I was in college, and its still a skill that I am trying to improve every day.

So to my friend, or anyone who may feel frustrated that they don't know how to cook or sew or do "girly" things, don't worry! Those things can all be learned, and with time even appreciated and enjoyed. Start small, and before you know it you will be surprised at what you can do.

Why homemaking?

I don’t think there is just one reason why I decided to become a homemaker. In some ways, I don’t know that it was an entirely conscious decision, but just something that I always felt I would do.

My own mother was, and still is, an excellent example to me, and while I didn’t always appreciate her when I was young, as I grew older I realized how much I wanted to follow in her footsteps and be home with my own children.

I am a member of a very family-oriented church that encourages women to be the primary caretakers of their children, and I have always agreed with that model. Although seen as old-fashioned by many in today’s world, those that know me would agree that I am a bit old-fashioned, and traditional family roles suit me well.

I did always want to go to college and have experiences working and traveling before marriage, but I knew that ultimately I wanted to have children and develop my skills as a homemaker. I would say that my college and work experiences have only helped me to be a better homemaker, and I am continually seeking opportunities to learn even more.

I have always believed that homemaking is about more than just cooking and cleaning and changing diapers. It is about creating a space where your family can gather and feel happy and safe. A home should be somewhere that you want to be, somewhere to enjoy meals, play games, learn new skills, and make memories together.

While some days are hard, or boring, or lonely, or any number of things, I never think to myself that I wish I was doing some other kind of work. I develop my skills in sewing, cooking, and household repairs. I am constantly learning about everything from organizing to parenting to anger management. I feel accomplished when I look over my clean house and organized rooms. But most of all, I love spending a day playing and snuggling with my little one and then relaxing and enjoying time with my husband.

To anyone that might wonder if homemaking could every be as fulfilling as any other job, I can honestly say that I love what I do and wouldn’t have it any other way.