My Resolutions for 2015

It's no secret that I like to make goals. My type A personality gets a high off of list-making, and especially off of crossing things off of that list, so it should be no surprise that I get a little giddy with each new year. It's exciting to think about what I might be able to accomplish. A whole year ahead of me! What should I do with it?!

I just finished reading The Happiness Project, and I got a lot of ideas about how to approach my resolutions this year. I want to stretch, but I also want to be myself. I want to try things I have never tried, and also get better and doing things that I should already be doing. I want to be realistic about my life. I have a one year old. We live on a tight budget. There are some things that won't happen this year. But that's ok.

Here a my resolutions so far. I'm still working out some of the details, because I know that you can't just make a goal without having a plan to accomplish that goal, but for now I wanted to at least get them written down.

Exercise at least once a week. I know, I know, exercising once a week isn't going to get me into shape. But right now I don't exercise at all. I know that I'm not going to do it everyday, and its unlikely that I'll even do it every other day, but once a week? I can do that. I really enjoy walking, but its pretty cold these days, so if I don't get out for a walk with Luke I will go to our gym and run on the treadmill. If I don't get to the gym, I'll do some cardio/stretches/ab workouts inside. I'm trying to be realistic here, so as far as I'm concerned, any kind of working out is progress. Hopefully as I go along I can increase what I do.
Eat less sugar. I have a serious sweet tooth. I eat a lot of sugar. Every day. I know that I should cut back, but it's hard. I've tried to just plain stop eating sugar cold turkey, but that only lasted for about two days before I gave in and ate a whole bag of skittles. So, this time I'm going to try to, again, be more realistic. Here is my plan. During the month of January and February I will be allowed to eat sugar 5 out of 7 days of the week. Then, depending on how that goes, in March and April I will cut it down to 4 out of 7 days. Then down to 3, and then 2 days. I don't think I will cut it down more than that, because, I like sugar. I see no reason to get rid of it altogether, but cutting back will definitely be better for me.
Eat more fruit and vegetables. Along with eating too much sugar, I don't eat nearly enough fruit or vegetables. Its harder in the winter to find good fruit, and I don't love salad, but I know I need to make more of an effort. A new Sprouts is opening right by our house so I am hoping that I can find some better produce there that will help me stick to my goal.
Keep a one sentence journal. I used to write in a journal almost every day for years. Then I got married. I have tried on and off to start writing regularly again, but it never sticks. I got the idea for one sentence journal keeping from The Happiness Project, and I think it may work for me. Just sticking to one sentence takes off a lot of pressure to keep a record of everything, and instead reminds me to just write down the best thing of each day.  I read before I go to sleep almost every night, so I think I can sacrifice a few of those precious minutes to write one or two sentences.
Write a novel in 30 days. I have always wanted to write a novel. I have started bits and pieces here and there. I even tried NaNoWriMo a couple of years ago, but November was just too busy of a month to finish. I've decided I will try a less busy month, like March or June, but most importantly I am just going to focus on writing, not on publishing. Whenever I sit down to write something, I always just want to edit it before I get very far, and I always think about whether or not anyone would every read it. This time, that won't matter. I don't care if my novel is good, I just care about trying and finishing. 

That's all for now! Wish me luck as start this new year!

Tip: Make a Laundry Schedule

Sometimes I wonder if everyone but me already knew to do these things. Either way, all of these tips are things that I have found to be really helpful to me as a homemaker, so it can't hurt to share them with you too.

This week, I have discovered the magic of scheduling my laundry (it's the little things). Usually, I do most of our laundry on Saturday, which sometimes rolls into Sunday because I forget to finish drying or folding it, and sometimes I don't get the laundry finished at all so I have to do random loads during the week because we need something cleaned. I would rather not use my weekend for this, but it has always kind of happened that way. Then, I thought, "what if I create a schedule for this, and do one load a day each day of the week? Then I won't have to do it on the weekend!"

I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner.

My new laundry schedule currently looks like this:

Monday - whites
Tuesday - darks/colors
Wednesday - towels/sheets
Thursday - Luke's clothes

That leaves Friday, Saturday and Sunday free to do other, more fun things. And since it is just one load a day, it is easy to get it all done: washing, drying, folding, and putting away.

Do you use a laundry schedule?

Finding Joy

I don't always love being a homemaker.

Sometimes I think about other things that I could have done instead of getting married, having children and staying home. I could have travelled more. I could have worked at my dream job in a big city. I could have continued my education or started my own business. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I think about those things. Or sometimes I just think it would be nice to not have worry about anyone but myself. I could get up when I want, not when I hear cries of hunger or boredom. I could wear whatever clothes I want without worrying about getting food spilled on them or trying to run after a toddler in uncomfortable shoes. I could go shopping peacefully and spend all the time I want trying on clothes or browsing the aisle. I could do all of those things if I hadn't chosen to become a homemaker.

But, when I really start to think about all those other things that I could have done, it doesn't actually seem that great. Is sleeping in and wearing fancy clothes really more fun than seeing your little one laugh as they attempt their first steps? Is traveling and working more fulfilling that creating a beautiful, comfortable home where your family can gather and enjoy time together? Maybe for some, but not for me.

I love my job. I love that I get to be here for all the little things that Luke does each day. I love that I get to clean the house and cook dinner so that my husband can come home after a long day and enjoy a good meal with us and relax in a comfortable living room. I love that my job lets me read books, sew up projects, paint furniture, and repair household items. I get to do a little bit of everything.

I know that not all women will choose to be homemakers. Some can't have or don't want children. Some prefer to work outside of the home. Some are making the best of single parenthood and don't get to stay home. But for those that are homemakers, or those who wonder if it's worth it, it is. On those days when you might be tempted to dream about all the other things you could have done, choose instead to find joy in the things you already do.

Learning to love your job

Being a SAHM and homemaker is not always easy. Little ones can wear you out quickly. Sometimes it seems like you are always washing dishes, or always picking up toys, or always doing laundry. And often, there is not a lot of time for you.

Yesterday, I read an article titled, "Dear Stay-At-Home-Moms, Please Shut Up." It's written by a SAHM who frankly is tired of hearing other SAHMs complain about their job. I personally found the article to be mostly humorous. It is obvious that the author uses satire and is not entirely serious about everything she says. But as I read the comments posted to the article, I was surprised that most didn't feel as I did about it. Women were clearly unhappy with the ridicule and stereotypes described by the author and some protested that they had never met any SAHM that complained about her job.

I don't think this is a matter of who is right or wrong. You could choose to become offended, or you could remind yourself that it is one person's opinion, and take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you truly love staying at home and have never had reason to complain and don't know what the author is talking about. Maybe you hate staying at home, and do complain, and this article makes you feel a little guilty. Hopefully you just found it funny, like I did.

Truthfully though, like the author, I have heard a lot of SAHMs complain about their job. Whether it be in person or online through blogs and social media; Facebook especially can be a never-ending saga of the latest difficult tasks SAHMs have had to endure. We have all had jobs that we don't like, and its easy to get into a habit (yes, it becomes a habit) to complain when we are unhappy.

So the way I see it, if you are a SAHM and you are unhappy with your job, you have three options:

1. Don't change anything and continue to be unhappy.
2. Put your kids in daycare or hire a nanny and get a job that you like.
3. Find ways to love your job as a SAHM.

You may say that none of those choices are easy, and that may be true, but things that are worth doing are rarely very easy. Hopefully you won't choose number one, so I won't even go into that.

If you choose number two that is great. Not every mom wants to stay home, and that is ok. Maybe you have always wanted to work but felt guilty putting your kids in daycare. Personally, I feel that I mother is the best caregiver for her own children, but that being said, it does not mean that you can't find great care outside of the home also. It is a matter of doing some research and choosing whatever suits you best. Working part-time or just one or two days or nights a week is also an option that may allow you to spread your wings but still let you be at home most of the time. I think these decisions take a lot of thought, discussion with your spouse, and prayer. But if you are angry all the time because you feel stuck at home, your kids will notice and it won't be good for them anyway, so maybe a little outside work is best for everyone.

If you choose number three (obviously my favorite choice) then it's time to do some major personal evaluations. It may be hard to find the time to do some thinking, but try to take an hour or two to yourself, grab a pen and paper and write down your thoughts.  Here are some ideas to help:

• First, make a list of all the things you don't like about being a SAHM. Your list might include things like: I don't like cooking or cleaning, no time for myself, I get lonely being home all day, the kids are always fighting, etc. 
• Next, think of a job you have had before that you loved, and write down all the reasons why you loved it. Your list might read: I got to use the skills I learned in school or training, I was my own boss, I loved my coworkers, I liked the benefits, etc.
• Finally, see if you can mesh the things you loved previously with the things you currently don't like.  For example, if you loved being your own boss in a previous job then remind yourself that you are definitely your own boss as a SAHM. You make the rules and just because some of your friends may raise their kids or clean their house one way, doesn't mean you have to do it that way too. If it helps you, run your house like you would run a business (maybe with a bit more love) and use those skills you gained as a boss to help your family. If you loved your coworkers in an old job and now you get lonely being home all day write down some ideas of how you can see friends (or make new ones) more often. Start a play group, a book club, or do something outside of your home like taking a cooking class or working out at the gym. If you miss using the skills you obtained in a previous job, consider how you might use them at home. If you were an accountant, use that knowledge to make an awesome monthly budget and teach your kids how to use money wisely at the grocery store. If you were a dance instructor, see if you can volunteer at your kids' school with the dance team, or start a dance class for your own little ones. There is really no job I can think of that can't be implemented in some way in the home

Ultimately, its about finding a good balance. No one loves their job every single day, that is just human nature. But we can always make our jobs better, starting with the right attitude and a desire to improve ourselves. Finding out what you are good at and focusing on the things you do enjoy about staying at home will make each day a little brighter.