Money Wise: The Budget

Note: I originally wrote this and other posts about our finances on a personal blog but have decided to share them here. The original date the post was published is shown below.  

5/11/14

People don't usually like the word "budget". Usually it has a negative connotation of some sort, kind of like "diet". But having a budget doesn't have to be a negative thing. In fact, when you really figure one out, its sort of freeing.

We started using an online budget tool called mint.com shortly after we were married and continue to use it today. You create an account that you then can link  all other financial accounts to so you can see everything in one place. We see our checking and savings accounts, Roth IRAs, HSA, and student loan accounts. You can also create a budget each month so you can view it regularly and easily keep track of where your money is going. Mint will list all of your transactions and then you can assign them to different categories so that they fall within your budget.  It has been a great tool for us. 

That all being said, it has taken time to really learn how to create a proper budget. For a long time I had budget categories, but I mostly just looked at where I had spent money after it had already been spent, rather than telling our money how it would be spent beforehand. That is the key. You have to start each budget before the month has started, determine how much your income will be, and then assign every dollar to a category. It can be hard at first, sometimes you have expenses you don't expect, but after a few months you start to get a pretty good idea of how much you will spend and what you will spend it on. 

Some people may feel that planning how much you can spend on each category (ie: clothing, eating out, groceries, etc.) will be limiting, but as we have started to efficiently budget I find that I feel a lot less guilty. For example, when we didn't plan ahead how much to set for clothing that month I would buy things but then always feel guilty for spending the money, even if it was something I needed. Now I know exactly how much we have agreed to spend so as long as I stay within that amount I don't feel guilty at all. 

Creating an efficient budget (together! If you're married) is really the first step to taking control of your money. Once you start that, your debt-free future starts to become a little clearer. 

New Books and Goals as a Collector

With a father who is an avid book collector, and a mother who is happy to get any amount of books out of the house (as they are always piling up) I always come back from New Mexico with lots of reading material.

My last visit was especially fun because my grandfather recently moved out of his home and to Arizona to live with my aunt and uncle, and decided to leave his Franklin library to my dad to be divided amongst the grandchildren. Since none of my brothers were very interested in the books, I pretty much got first pick on everything, and had quite a stack by the time I was finished sorting through the piles. I couldn't bring them all home this trip because our suitcases were getting too heavy (and Franklin editions tend to weigh quite a lot), but I brought as many as I could successfully pack.

Collected Poems by T.S. Eliot

The Red Badge of Courage by Stephan Crane

Main Street by Sinclair Lewis

History by Elsa Morante

I also had fun book hunting with my dad, which we always like to do when we get together. One of his favorite Albuquerque booksellers was closing his shop just before Christmas, so we made sure to go to his store as well as a few others. Beside the books I bought shopping that day, my mom also passed on a few of her books to me that she didn't want anymore but knew I was interested in.

The Professor and The Bronte Poems by Charlotte Bronte and her sisters

Little Women by Louisa May Alcott

Lois the Witch and Other Stories by Mrs. (Elizabeth) Gaskell

A Lost Lady by Willa Cather (gift from my mom)

Presenting Miss Jane Austen by May Lamberton Becker (gift from my mom)

Early Novels and Stories by Willa Cather

Little House in the Ozarks: Rediscovered Writings by Laura Ingalls Wilder (gift from my mom)

I have been collecting books for years now, but it has only been in the past couple that my collecting goals have changed. My dad, for example, loves pretty much any book with a beautiful leather cover and an old musty smell, no matter the content. While I appreciate the beauty in those books too, I feel that I really want a personal library that is "readable".  What I mean by that is that I don't want to have only rare books that are too fragile to read comfortably. While I do have a few rare and special books, most of my books are nice editions that I would still feel comfortable letting my kids read when they are able. I want to have a collection of stories that I love, even if that means passing up a beautifully bound edition of something else because it's not a story that I enjoy. Having this as my goal has made book collecting even more enjoyable for me lately, and its always exciting to come home with new books to put on my shelves.

Reflections and a Happy New Year

I had the opportunity to travel with Phil and Luke to New Mexico to visit my family for Christmas. Luke and I flew down on Dec 16, Phil came later on the 23 and we all came back on Jan 3. While there, I took a break from my blog and my Etsy shop. I checked my email only occasionally and didn't spend any time reading the news or other blogs (something I usually do every morning). I only browsed Pinterest here and there and checked Facebook very little. In every sense of the word, I had a real vacation.

I found that I didn't really miss those things, and while I know that I will continue to use them in the future, it was satisfying to see that I could go without them and still enjoy my time with plenty to do. 

Christmas was lovely, as it always is. Luke really didn't know what was going on, but he was in a great mood and loved tearing up the wrapping paper. It was exciting to start really thinking about our own Christmas traditions, now that Luke is getting bigger (last Christmas he was only a month old and we didn't even buy him gifts). We have decided to implement the "four gift rule" and it was fun to start that for the first time. 

New Years is also one of my favorite times. I love making goals (no surprise there, considering my addiction to list making and organization), and New Years is always an exciting time for me to evaluate my life and think about what I can do to make it more productive and fulfilling in the coming months.
I'm looking forward to continue to use this blog to share my resolutions and projects. I hope that 2015 will be a year of happiness and growth, a year spent with family and friends, a year learning more about myself and my purpose. Here's to a great 2015!

Luke's Birth

Today is our little man's first birthday. I can't believe it has been one year already. I know moms say things like that all the time, but really. ONE YEAR. What happened to my baby? Looking back over the past year I just feel so lucky to have this little guy in our family. He makes us smile every single day and I can never get enough hugs and snuggles.

Pregnancy wasn't really that fun, and labor was definitely not my favorite. But looking back now, I would do it all again (and I guess I probably will) in a heartbeat. My first labor and delivery wasn't exactly as I hoped it would be, but really, does a baby ever come exactly the way one hopes? All that really mattered in the end is that he made it here safely.

My due date was December 2,  so as it came inching closer I was sure getting antsy. I really wanted to deliver Luke naturally. I had read about my different options, and taken some classes and I just felt like I wanted to be in control. I didn't want to have to worry about having a bad reaction to the epidural or not being able to feel anything, so we had been prepping to manage the pain drug free.

Unfortunately, I tested positive (as about 50% of women do) for Group B Strep, so my doctor kept reminding me that if my water broke I needed to hurry in to the hospital to get on antibiotics right away. Well, my water did break at home, and we hurried in, but I wasn't really having contractions. Since there is a small window of time once your water breaks that they baby needs to be delivered in, they had to start me on pitocin to get things going. I was ok with that since it was what needed to happen, but I still wanted to go epidural free.

We went in about 6 p.m. on Saturday, Nov 30, slept the night in the hospital which was not at all restful and then they started the pitocin around 7 a.m. the next morning when I still wasn't having major contractions.  At first I was thinking, "oh this isn't too bad, I can totally do this." Pretty soon that turned into, "this really, really hurts, but I can totally do this". And then it became, "OH MY GOODNESS THIS HURTS SO BAD!!! but...I can totally do this...right?" A big problem was that I wasn't able to really walk around at all. Since I had to be hooked up to an IV for both antibiotics and pitocin, not mention all the monitors they strap on you, they wouldn't let me leave the bed except to pee. I had hope to be able to ease some of the contraction pain by walking, stretching, bouncing on the exercise ball, and anything else I could think of, but the nurses really wouldn't let me.

About 9 hours later and dilated to an 8 I decided to get the epidural. I was so exhausted, not having slept for like 36 hours and enduring the awful pitocin induced contractions (I am convinced that they are worse with pitocin than not, although I guess I don't know for sure) all day, I just couldn't do it anymore. The epidural definitely made me feel better, but then, although the nurse assured me that I would still be able to feel it when it was time to push, I really couldn't feel it. I felt some pressure after a while and decided that must be it, which I guess it was, but then after pushing for what seemed like an hour we had made no progress. I just couldn't feel it (am I the only one who had this experience?)!

And, now after being awake for 36 hours, enduring pitocin contractions all day, and pushing for an hour, I was beyond exhausted. The doctor could tell, so she decided to suction Luke out, which totally freaked me out, but I just wanted him to come out already so I agreed. A great big push and one little suck later and there he was! He immediately started peeing, which made us all laugh, and then started crying. Phil cut the umbilical cord and they put him right in my lap. He was so perfect and the long day and painful contractions and disappointment all just disappeared.

It really was love at first sight.

Happy first birthday little one. We love you. 

How to: Perfect Pie Crust

Pie is the one thing I look forward to almost more than anything else on Thanksgiving Day. When I was a little girl, I remember my mom making the most delicious pies every year. She would always save the trimmings of pie crust, bake them on a cookie sheet, sprinkle them with powdered sugar and give them to me and my brothers. I loved that pie crust.

But, one year, my mom told me that she was tired of making pies from scratch and decided she would just buy a few pre-made crusts from the grocery store. I was shocked. Not only did I love eating those homemade pies (and trimmings) but it was a tradition to make the pies. Tradition is a big deal in my family and I just couldn't believe my mom was considering buying a crust (I may have been a little over dramatic). I pleaded with her, but she said it was just too much work and Marie Calendar's crust is just as good. "If you want homemade pie, you will have to make it," she told me. I'm not sure if she really thought I would do it or not, but determined to save tradition and my crust, I took on the pie making that year, and have done so ever since.

I use this pie crust recipe every single time I make pies and it is still just the very best crust I have ever had.

Perfect Pie Crust

Ingredients:
4 c. flour
1 Tbsp sugar
2 tsp salt
1 3/4 c. shortening
1 Tbsp vinegar
1 large egg
1/2 c. plus 1 Tbsp cold water

Directions:

Combine flour, sugar and salt in large mixing bowl and mix well. Cut shortening into flour mixture until ingredients are crumbly. Combine vinegar, egg and cold water in small bowl and add all at once to flour and shortening mixture. Combine with fork until dough pulls together (dough will still be crumbly). Turn out onto lightly floured surface and knead slightly until crumbs are all combined. Makes 4 or 5 pie crusts.

What is your favorite Thanksgiving food?

My Favorite Spot

I love our home. It is the just what we were hoping to find when we moved back to Utah, and although it is temporary (long-term temporary, but still temporary), I have still tried to make it a cozy place for us to live until the next time we move.

I have been looking for a bookshelf to put in the corner of the living room almost since the day we moved in. It was a great spot for our big, red wingback chair, and I knew that adding a small shelf would make it a perfect little reading nook. Most of my books are on shelves in our bedroom, which I love, but I really like having books out in the family area too. I think they add something special to any room, and I liked imagining myself curled up in our big chair reading stories to Luke, or just to myself.

When I finally found the perfect shelf ($15 on ksl!), it turned out even better than I hoped. It needed a little tlc, but once I gave it a makeover it was just right. I have some of my favorite book displayed on the top shelfs; a few photo albums, toys and children's books on the second shelf, and a few of Luke's board books and toys on the bottom shelf. It also has a drawer where the rest of Luke's toys can be stored away (which made both Phil and I very happy since they had been kept in a couple of bins that didn't really have a home in the living room).

Cozy isn't it?

Do you have a favorite spot in your home?

Recommended Reading: Taking Charge of Your Fertility

I think I first heard about Taking Charge of Your Fertility while reading something on KellyMom, (a great resource for breastfeeding, by the way), and it sounded interesting, so I added it to my "to read" list. Later, I looked to see if I could check it out from the library, only I find that five people already had it on hold ahead of me. After a few months it finally made it to me and I hurried to read it since there were then nine more people waiting on the hold list after me. Apparently this is a very popular book, and now after reading it, I see why.

I found Taking Charge of Your Fertility to be an incredibly empowering book. I learned more about the female (and male too) reproductive system than I had ever known or heard before. I was so fascinated with everything that I learned and I couldn't believe I didn't know it before.  This book teaches about the "Fertility Awareness Method", or "FAM" which debunks the myth that most women have a 28-day cycle and ovulate on day 14, which is what most resources and doctors will tell you. Whether you are trying to get pregnant, trying not to get pregnant, or just want to be healthy, this book is for you (in other words, every single woman should read this book!).

Learning FAM will allow you to track your own fertility signs, which include waking temperature, cervical fluid, and cervical position (which the book explains is an optional sign). Tracking these signs is super easy and only takes a couple minutes each day. By knowing your own body and its fertility signs you can avoid using other methods of birth control, which often have unpleasant side effects, or be more likely to conceive if you are trying to get pregnant. Knowing this information also allows you to be more in control of your own gynecological health and provide useful information to your physician that they could otherwise only obtain through a series of tests.

Around the same time I got pregnant with Luke, I had two friends that were also trying to conceive. Both of them had been trying for nearly a year with no success, and both of them ended up seeing fertility specialists. One was able to then conceive after using Clomid, and the other conceived a few months later naturally. I felt lucky (which truthfully, kind of was luck, because we were following the ol' 12-17 day rule to get pregnant, not actually knowing when my most fertile days were. Now I know better.) that I was able to become pregnant so quickly when I realized what difficult and frustrating time they were both having.

Now, after reading this book, I wish I could go back in time and give it to them! It could have saved them so much grief. Usually, doctors make you try for a year before you can see a fertility specialist, but as explained in this book, if you are tracking your own fertility signs, you can know within 4-6 months if something is wrong. You will know if you aren't ovulating, or if you just have especially long cycles and ovulate later than the standard day 14 (which most women do!). With that information you can go to your doctor and explain your concerns, show them your charts and they will likely be able to help you sooner than one year. That doesn't mean that you won't need any other kind of intervention, you may still need to use Clomid or other fertility drugs, or your husband may need tests done as well, but at least it gives you a good start.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility looks like a big book, but it's really a pretty quick read. Even though it discusses biological and medical terms, it is not at all difficult to understand. In fact, you, like me, will probably feel surprised that you didn't already know something so simple about yourself. The author does a great job teaching about FAM and answering all of the questions you might have. About a third of the book is an appendix which includes sample charts, pictures, diagrams, FAQ, and anything else you might need to better understand. Seriously, get this book. It will change your life.

Have you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? Did you love it as much as I did?

P.S. You can get more information about this book and FAM here: www.tcoyf.com

Finding Joy

I don't always love being a homemaker.

Sometimes I think about other things that I could have done instead of getting married, having children and staying home. I could have travelled more. I could have worked at my dream job in a big city. I could have continued my education or started my own business. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I think about those things. Or sometimes I just think it would be nice to not have worry about anyone but myself. I could get up when I want, not when I hear cries of hunger or boredom. I could wear whatever clothes I want without worrying about getting food spilled on them or trying to run after a toddler in uncomfortable shoes. I could go shopping peacefully and spend all the time I want trying on clothes or browsing the aisle. I could do all of those things if I hadn't chosen to become a homemaker.

But, when I really start to think about all those other things that I could have done, it doesn't actually seem that great. Is sleeping in and wearing fancy clothes really more fun than seeing your little one laugh as they attempt their first steps? Is traveling and working more fulfilling that creating a beautiful, comfortable home where your family can gather and enjoy time together? Maybe for some, but not for me.

I love my job. I love that I get to be here for all the little things that Luke does each day. I love that I get to clean the house and cook dinner so that my husband can come home after a long day and enjoy a good meal with us and relax in a comfortable living room. I love that my job lets me read books, sew up projects, paint furniture, and repair household items. I get to do a little bit of everything.

I know that not all women will choose to be homemakers. Some can't have or don't want children. Some prefer to work outside of the home. Some are making the best of single parenthood and don't get to stay home. But for those that are homemakers, or those who wonder if it's worth it, it is. On those days when you might be tempted to dream about all the other things you could have done, choose instead to find joy in the things you already do.

Little Fox

Oh, how I love this little guy. 

Happy November!

Family Time: "Up" for Halloween

Anyone who knows me knows that I love Halloween.  I don't know what it is exactly, maybe the combination of Fall weather, pumpkin everything, haunted houses, and the fact that you can dress up even as an adult, make it one of the most magical holidays.

When I was a little girl my mom almost always made my costumes. I think it was usually less expensive to do so, and even though I thought the store-bought costumes were really cool, the things my mom made always looked better and were much better quality.  I have yet to make any of our costumes from scratch, but I always find great things at the thrift store that, with a little tweaking and sewing, have made some great costumes. I know it's cheesy, but I love choosing themes each year, and lucky for me, I have a husband who is a good sport about it and I baby who is too young to know any different.

This year, we chose to dress as characters from Disney's Up. It was probably the most work I have spent on Halloween costumes yet (I should have counted the number of feathers I traced, cut and glued), but it was definitely worth it.

Happy Halloween!

Family time: The Pumpkin Patch

This past Friday Phil was able to take a day off of work and we all went to a pumpkin patch. Luke loves to be outside and we were pretty sure he would love bright orange pumpkins too so it seemed like the perfect family activity. Plus, it was free (except the purchase of our pumpkins) so we didn't waste any time getting there and taking a million pictures.

Happy October!