Learning to love your job

Being a SAHM and homemaker is not always easy. Little ones can wear you out quickly. Sometimes it seems like you are always washing dishes, or always picking up toys, or always doing laundry. And often, there is not a lot of time for you.

Yesterday, I read an article titled, "Dear Stay-At-Home-Moms, Please Shut Up." It's written by a SAHM who frankly is tired of hearing other SAHMs complain about their job. I personally found the article to be mostly humorous. It is obvious that the author uses satire and is not entirely serious about everything she says. But as I read the comments posted to the article, I was surprised that most didn't feel as I did about it. Women were clearly unhappy with the ridicule and stereotypes described by the author and some protested that they had never met any SAHM that complained about her job.

I don't think this is a matter of who is right or wrong. You could choose to become offended, or you could remind yourself that it is one person's opinion, and take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you truly love staying at home and have never had reason to complain and don't know what the author is talking about. Maybe you hate staying at home, and do complain, and this article makes you feel a little guilty. Hopefully you just found it funny, like I did.

Truthfully though, like the author, I have heard a lot of SAHMs complain about their job. Whether it be in person or online through blogs and social media; Facebook especially can be a never-ending saga of the latest difficult tasks SAHMs have had to endure. We have all had jobs that we don't like, and its easy to get into a habit (yes, it becomes a habit) to complain when we are unhappy.

So the way I see it, if you are a SAHM and you are unhappy with your job, you have three options:

1. Don't change anything and continue to be unhappy.
2. Put your kids in daycare or hire a nanny and get a job that you like.
3. Find ways to love your job as a SAHM.

You may say that none of those choices are easy, and that may be true, but things that are worth doing are rarely very easy. Hopefully you won't choose number one, so I won't even go into that.

If you choose number two that is great. Not every mom wants to stay home, and that is ok. Maybe you have always wanted to work but felt guilty putting your kids in daycare. Personally, I feel that I mother is the best caregiver for her own children, but that being said, it does not mean that you can't find great care outside of the home also. It is a matter of doing some research and choosing whatever suits you best. Working part-time or just one or two days or nights a week is also an option that may allow you to spread your wings but still let you be at home most of the time. I think these decisions take a lot of thought, discussion with your spouse, and prayer. But if you are angry all the time because you feel stuck at home, your kids will notice and it won't be good for them anyway, so maybe a little outside work is best for everyone.

If you choose number three (obviously my favorite choice) then it's time to do some major personal evaluations. It may be hard to find the time to do some thinking, but try to take an hour or two to yourself, grab a pen and paper and write down your thoughts.  Here are some ideas to help:

• First, make a list of all the things you don't like about being a SAHM. Your list might include things like: I don't like cooking or cleaning, no time for myself, I get lonely being home all day, the kids are always fighting, etc. 
• Next, think of a job you have had before that you loved, and write down all the reasons why you loved it. Your list might read: I got to use the skills I learned in school or training, I was my own boss, I loved my coworkers, I liked the benefits, etc.
• Finally, see if you can mesh the things you loved previously with the things you currently don't like.  For example, if you loved being your own boss in a previous job then remind yourself that you are definitely your own boss as a SAHM. You make the rules and just because some of your friends may raise their kids or clean their house one way, doesn't mean you have to do it that way too. If it helps you, run your house like you would run a business (maybe with a bit more love) and use those skills you gained as a boss to help your family. If you loved your coworkers in an old job and now you get lonely being home all day write down some ideas of how you can see friends (or make new ones) more often. Start a play group, a book club, or do something outside of your home like taking a cooking class or working out at the gym. If you miss using the skills you obtained in a previous job, consider how you might use them at home. If you were an accountant, use that knowledge to make an awesome monthly budget and teach your kids how to use money wisely at the grocery store. If you were a dance instructor, see if you can volunteer at your kids' school with the dance team, or start a dance class for your own little ones. There is really no job I can think of that can't be implemented in some way in the home

Ultimately, its about finding a good balance. No one loves their job every single day, that is just human nature. But we can always make our jobs better, starting with the right attitude and a desire to improve ourselves. Finding out what you are good at and focusing on the things you do enjoy about staying at home will make each day a little brighter.